At some point you have to stop complaining and go in a different direction. As a lifelong football fan and as someone who has worked in the industry in various capacities, I believe it is time for a radical change. There is nothing wrong with the sport of Football, it isn’t broken, it’s just the people who own it and run it are a bunch of Trump like self – serving ego – maniacal assholes.
So, in the interest of preserving the great sport of football and returning the games to the fans and the players, I hereby today invent and commit to the development of:
THE JFL – The Just Football League – It’s JUST Football – it’s not politics, it’s not a reality TV show, It’s not a lesson in morality, it’s not a way of life, it’s not even rocket science, It’s JUST Football.
The game rules of the sport are exactly the same as the NFL with JUST a few changes.
- We actually have a No Tolerance Policy on Domestic Violence and Abuse. You JUST don’t get to play in our league, ever. If you get caught or we hear about it even once, you are gone.
- The Rules are the same for everyone, regardless of race, creed, or color and they apply to everyone the same way, Owners, Managers, Players, Waterboys. Etc. If you can’t deal with it, JUST do not play in our league.
- We have no policy on PED’s – Performance Enhancing Drugs. If you are ok putting that shit in your body, well, it’s your body, go right ahead. You will JUST have to sign a waiver that you will not sue us, when you grow hair on your back or your balls shrink or whatever happens to you, that’s JUST on you. And by the way we will not be supplying Toradol – that is JUST on you as well.
- Marijuana is legal in many states, there will be no rules against marijuana consumption or alcohol for that matter. Restricting players from consuming legal substances is fucking facist. Use your best judgement, don’t let your team mates down. We prefer you keep it out of the locker rooms, but you are an adult and we trust you, JUST do the right thing and JUST remember to share.
- Player Base Salaries will be the same for everyone on the team, based on years of experience, the longer you stay in the league the more you earn. However, for each and every game there will be bonuses awarded to individual players for offensive stats and defensive stats to be determined, and there will be a team wide game bonus for wins but not for losses. So, all player contracts will be incentive based game by game. Those who bring their A game every week will benefit directly. The rest of your compensation, it’s a team sport – you will prosper as a team. So, JUST play to win.
- Owners, Managers, Coaches will consist of people who have prior professional experience in Football and will be knowledgeable about the sport. There will be no douchebag owners who think they can run a football team JUST because they ran a business and think they know what they are doing. We JUST don’t want or need that in our league.
- We encourage any and all creative Touchdown Celebrations, the only caveat is you are on the clock, if you get caught going over the time needed to reset the play – that will be a delay of game penalty. JUST 5 yards !
- Taunting is part of the game – if you can’t handle it JUST don’t play in our League – if you make the play, you get to stomp around or point your finger, or whatever, JUST make sure you get back to the huddle in time for the next play, or its JUST 5 yards for delay of game.
- Any and all political statements, show of support, etc are permitted without judgment, they simply must be team approved and team supported. Work it out and let the coach know before the game. It’s a team sport – make your statement as a team, you can do it, JUST don’t divide your locker room.
- Each team will have two representatives making up the league rules committee, they will meet electronically on the day after all games have been played and film has been filed with the league – they will review any excessive penalty’s to determine fines, suspensions etc. Any monetary fines assessed and collected will go directly to organizations to fight domestic violence and abuse. Not to the league.
Those are JUST the basics. Much more to come .
Now we have to go organize and find some money to create the JFL.